The Windmills Of Your Mind
by Orenji Yume
Summary: Based on Rayearth OAV. One-shot, a HL songfic - mainly on Hikaru's thoughts. Pls R&R!


_The Windmills Of Your Mind by Orenji Yume_

_A Hikaru/Lantis one-shot songfic_

**SPOILERS: Based on Rayearth OAV (So…Lantis is gone.).**

**STORY: This is mainly on Hikaru's feelings after everything was over. I'm not sure if the song goes...hopefully it does! Sorry if anyone seems OOC. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Magic Knight Rayearth, CLAMP does. And I also do not own the song 'The Windmills Of Your Mind' sung by Becky Taylor.**

Her mind was in a whirl. Though it had been a few days already, since Hikaru saw the last of those familiar yet unfamiliar faces, she still had not recovered. And especially from the pain of his death. Sitting down at the side of her bed, she sat there, silent. Gazing outside, she saw the crescent moon. Maybe it was hallucination, but she thought she saw his face being reflected on the moon. Jerking her head, her crimson eyes darted around the surrounding buildings. No one, just as anyone should have expected. But for her, her heart was not satisfied with that answer.

Dropping down onto the bed, she turned to one side. Who could she confide in now? Umi and Fuu have moved away...I could still call them but... Arching her neck, she stared at the luminous hands of the alarm clock. 'It's so late already...' Fidgeting, she thought to herself. 'I know...I'm hurting so many people by acting like this...' Closing her eyes, she sighed. 'But I can't forget him so easily...Who could be so cold and hardened to do so?'

Did the sandman come? Did he? Who knows? Soon, one could see the rising up and down of Hikaru's chest. Her breathing was soft, and one might think that she was sleeping peacefully, for it reminded them of a baby having sweet dreams. But just one glance at her expression, another opinion would enter that person's mind. Furrowed eyebrows, clenched fists, and the occasional tosses and turns in her sleep, it all pointed to one fact: She was not in the paradise of her dreams, but in the abyss of her troubles and worries.

'Where am I?' But time did not give her the answer, for already, she was running. She was running along a long, winding, yellow-brick road. Why couldn't she just run straight ahead? That question was too unanswered. And then, her feet finally stopped. That run seemed like forever, but her legs weren't aching at all, surprisingly. Staring down, a steep slope awaited her. 'What in the world...?' The height from where she was to the bottom, it was escalating! 'I...this is crazy! I'll die...won't I?' Without further thought, her right foot stepped forward, floating in the air. 'No...don't!' Despite her struggling, all her attempts failed to call back her foot.

Suddenly, her other foot brought itself forward very swiftly and quickly. 'No!!!' Hikaru found herself plummeting to the unfriendly grounds below. 'I'm going to die! No-wait! Then I-Lantis...I can...join him...right?' A small smile crept its way to her face. 'No, but what about my family? And...Umi and Fuu? But Lantis...and...'

She couldn't force herself to look down. All she felt was the rushing air going against her, causing her ears to ache, and the bitter breeze pricking her skin. Wincing, she hugged herself. 'Should I let myself go?' The fall seemed to go on forever...

Round, like a circle in a spiral  
Like a wheel within a wheel,  
Never ending or beginning  
On an ever-spinning reel,

Like a snowball down a mountain  
Or a carnival balloon,  
Like a carousel that's turning,  
Running rings around the moon,

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping  
Past the minutes of its face  
And the world is like an apple  
Rolling silently in space,

Like the circles that you find  
In the windmills of your mind.

'No!! I must live!!! Get me away from this place!!!!' Just then, it seemed as though her prayers were heard. The air was now soothing her face, and she seemed to have slowed down in movement. Hikaru squeezed her eyes shut, and the next second cool water splashed onto her. Blinking her eyes open, she saw that she was underwater. Moving her limbs, she started swimming forward. Looking above her, she tried to swim upwards. But...she couldn't move. 'B-but...won't I drown sooner or later?' Confused, she scanned the area around her. 'Nothing...no sign of life...but that's so...sad...What's wrong with this water?' She tried to sense the dreaded thing that drove all life away, but to no avail.

And then, she began swimming forward. The more she swam, the darker the waters got. 'Weird...' And then, she thought she saw a shadow. Or was it just her eyes playing tricks on her, again? Her heart skipped a beat. Next, whispers pinched her ears slightly. Her heart leapt. Was that who she thought it was? 'Was it him? Was it?' No other sounds followed her desperate questions. After that, she felt weak. 'What...?' Falling backwards, she fell down into the threatening depths of the waters. 'I'll die..'

A flicker. 'Who's that?' A familiar voice. 'Is that?' Someone's eyes flashed above. 'Lantis...?' Someone's voice called her name very gently. 'Lantis!!' A flow of energy rushed through her whole body. Kicking herself upright, she swam towards Lantis' image. 'Lantis!!!' Reaching out her hand, she grabbed his hand. 'I...I thought I lost you! Please don't leave me anymore! I-' He swiped her hand away, pushing her away from him. 'No!!!! Lantis!!!!!!' Her two outstretched hands failed to grab him again, for his image waned away in the waters. The waters engulfed him slowly, hurting her tremendously. A lump formed in her throat. 'Lantis...why...?'

Like a tunnel that you follow  
To a tunnel of its own,  
Down a hollow to a cavern  
Where the sun has never shone,  
Like a door that keeps revolving  
In a half-forgotten dream,  
Are the ripples from a pebble  
Someone tosses in a stream?

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping  
Past the minutes of its face  
And the world is like an apple  
Turning silently in space,

Like the circles that you find  
In the windmills of your mind.

Hikaru's ruby red eyes opened. 'Ugh...what happened...?' She found herself lying on her stomach. Bringing her hands and legs together; she pushed herself up, sitting down. Rubbing her eyes, beads of perspiration started forming on the sides of her head. 'It's so hot...' Gazing around her, a ring of fire encircled her. 'This is...?' And then, she saw him again.

That ever-so familiar of his, standing in the midst of the flames. Standing up, she clumsily went up to the shadow and swiped her hand through the flames, wanting to grab hold of him. 'Nothing...nothing...nothing!!' She grew frantic, and now she was waving both hands through the hungry flames. 'Nothing!!! Why...? Why can't I hold you, Lantis?'

It was only then, did she see that her hands were slightly burnt at the fingertips. A stinging pain passed seeped through. It was as if the flame was in fact eating her up slowly, bit by bit. Wincing, she clenched and unclenched her hands. No, they would not disappear, just like her memories of Lantis, but...they hurt...just like the knowledge of Lantis' death is doing to her now. Her heart wrenched. 'No...'

Falling to her knees, Hikaru stared at the burning amber, closing in onto her. 'Lantis...' The fire crackled louder than ever in her ears. 'Lantis...Lantis...let me...be with...' The flames grew in size, some licking at her feet. 'Let me be with you forever in our memories...' A gentle breeze blew across the flames. Looking above her, she smiled. 'Goodbye...Lantis...I love you...' And then, a wave hit her, causing the fire to burn out and sizzle.

Did she hear 'I love you too' just now? 'I thought...I did...'

Keys that jingle in your pocket  
Words that jangle in your head,  
Why did summer go so quickly,  
Was it something that you said?

Lovers walked along a shore  
And leave their footprints in the sand,  
Was the sound of distant drumming  
Just the fingers of your hand?

Pictures hanging in a hallway  
And the fragment of a song,  
Half-remembered names and faces  
But to whom do they belong?

When you knew that it was over  
You were suddenly aware  
That the autumn leaves were turning  
To the colour of her hair.

Sinking...sinking... 'Though I may not be able to see, hear or feel you anymore, but I will always do so in my heart. I love you, Lantis. I understand...your pain now...' Hikaru closed her eyes, letting out a smile, as she fell deeper into the water. 'Goodbye...'

As images unwind,  
Like the circles that you find  
In the windmills of your mind.

Her eyes snapped open. She was soaked in perspiration. Sitting up, Hikaru glanced around her. 'No one...' A throbbing pain ached inside her head. 'What happened? Did I really...?' Jumping off the bed, she walked towards the open window. The wind played around with her hair, but it came with no news of her lover. 'He's gone...yes...' Clasping her hands together, she muttered a small prayer. As she did so, tears managed to slip through and roll down her flushed cheeks. 'Thank you...thank you...'

_END_

**A/N: Usually in dreams, I find that you don't really hear people talking, you just know. So Hikaru's words are expressed in thoughts. And you might wonder why the dream is so weird, well...that's how dreams are, no?**


End file.
